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Love Life

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love lifeWhen we, as new parents, sometimes say "My life, as I knew it, has completely vanished!", we're bound to find tiny fingerprints all over the magic wand.

When you plan on having children, you must expect one certainty: things will change. In many ways, for the better, but sometimes for the worse.

Having children is one of those great things that help you know yourself and your partner a lot deeper. Many things will be different, from the day to day routine and the night to night routine, (oh, yes, these will most certainly change!), to locked in weekends and budget priorities. No more going out socialising like you used to, no more a last minute weekend in the Lakes, like you used to, no more walking the dog just for 10 minutes. Kiss goodbye to the marvelous treadmill in the gym (at least for a while) and, no, you can't use the jumbo packs of nappies for weight lifting.

 

These changes don't have to frighten you and put you off having a larger family, if that's what you want. You will find it amazing how this mysterious thing called the love for your child will help everything fall naturally into place, eventually. Some couples, especially young couples, might find it difficult to cope with the new challenges, emotionally, socially and financially.

Why do we argue a lot now?

If you find yourself in this situation, because you and your partner have different views on how to care for your baby, how to bring up children, how to interact with them, or because you feel that your partner is not putting enough time and effort for the baby, as you do, maybe it's time to sit down and have a talk about it, rather than trying to enforce your own set of rules.

Try to agree on one basic thing: the amount of time and effort each of you has to give to the new baby. If one of you works, it’s reasonable to expect that the stay at home parent puts the extra bit more in for the baby care. This doesn't mean that the other's equivalent extra bit will go towards things such as the Xbox every day.

Try to make an effort not only towards your child, but towards your partner, too. It's understandable if, after a day of baby moods, tantrums, dirty nappies, fussiness, eleven soiled outfits, all you want is to chill out on the couch, watch a movie together - and fall asleep, but try and make an effort to stay your old funny, charming, good laugh self at least a few nights a week.

You will find that, at some point in your life as a parent, you will miss your childless lifestyle. It's absolutely normal and don't feel guilty or selfish about it. We all feel the same at some point, no matter how much we love our children. The good news is: it will pass.

Find out how to regain control on your health and beauty after the birth of your child.